A Cautionary Note to a Warm-Hearted Soul: Don’t Let the Noble Instinct of Doing Good Keep You From Being Your Best
An aspiring brain-aficionada in Southeast Asia writes, in part:
“I am inclined to work for communities and not-for-profit organizations since my compassion is more for the ‘underdogs’ as I feel that there are so much to do for us. That is where I can add value.”
My reply, in part:
“The life and professional values you outlined in your e-mail message—working with the non-profits and underdogs in our societies—are certainly worthy. The one caution I always share with people who strongly espouse them and who I think (as I do with you) are mature enough to accept and reflect on my cautionary comments without taking major offense is that such a stance can be a copout if one isn’t careful. Because being noble and self-sacrificial and self-effacing is often not very powerful, and this is where the copout can emerge: by not being very powerful, one doesn’t have to take responsibility for the potential of their personal power, and thus they don’t end up being very useful to the underdogs and non-profits and powerless people they say they want to help.”
Her reply to my reply, in part:
“Thank you for your useful remark and I took that as an advice. I like both the way you gave it and the remark by itself. And I can see that your sensor is detecting rather well. However, I have done my reflection on your remark and found it very useful. I have not been in the pool of my own blood since having been through The BrainMap. Your remark gave me a tick to re-examine my old tendency and I am in the stage of great awareness since I don’t miss being in the blame game again. I wish I had known a little less of self-sacrifice. It was once my way of developing intimate relationship for too long. But I don’t like soap-opera anymore.
Talking about underdogs, we are all victims of the victims. Some underdogs choose to remain victims and I am not interested in them either. Being noble and self-sacrificial is also very tempting but I rather keep that for some other moment. In the past, I was adding values to the development of the topdogs for long without having thought of anything but today, I think and feel that the system is completely out of balance and I may be able to add some value on the other side to make it up. I want to surf the systems to feel myself where I can make more impact. Of course, I will work with almost anyone regardless of their position.”
It’s great to see a mind make progress on the thinking skills spiral. Good work, my friend!
